Troublesome Captains

Captains number thirteen
In the Soul Reaper's world
How to tell them apart:
Is their hair straight or curled?
We'll start with Old Yama
He's a truly old fart
Even though he knows all the
Shinigami Demon Arts
He's rather quite boring
So let's move to Squad 2
Where the captain's named Soi Fon
And her hair's black, not blue
She's pretty and looks Asian
And packs a good kick
Her martial arts skills
Are what make her tick.
Next we'll discuss
Smily Ichimaru Gin
His sword shoots at people
And his heart's made of tin.
He acts like a snake
And he bites like one too
Rukia's scared of him
He's creepy, that's true.
Retsu Unohana
Has a rather long braid
That goes around her neck
She's a boring old maid
Next, Aizen Sousuke
There's not much to say
He's a child molester
And should die every day
Now we reach the sixth squad
The best of the lot
For the Captain's Byakuya
And he's extremely hot.
He's strong and he's smart
Though sometimes he's cruel
But when fangirls see him
All of them drool.
The captain of seventh
Has a bear for a head
Anyone who he's mad at
Is better off dead.
Shunsui Kyoraku
Is captain of Eight
Him to pretty girls
Is like fish to a bait
Kaname Tousen
Is yet another bad guy
He's blind but he knows
If you're truthful, or you lie
Little mister Snowy
Hitsugaya Toshiro
He's the only kid captain
And young Momo's hero.
Division Eleven
Is lead by Zaraki
On his back rides Yachiru
And he's partial to sake
And the penultimate squad's
Captain is quite strange
Mayuri Kurotsuchi
Acts like he's deranged
Jushiro Ukitake
Leads the last squad
He's got lovely hair
And a rather dumpy bod.